Please...Help Yourself

 When I first met Yair, he was amongst the hundreds of students who had been unable to study law at Israeli Universities. To keep the number of applicants and therefore lawyers down, Israel requires the highest possible academic grades for entrance to a Law School.

Someone realised that Israeli Law is mostly based on English Law and if you already have an English Law degree, you can do a one-year "conversion" course and circumvent the problem that way. Once this loophole had been discovered, hundreds of Israelis completed their Army service and appeared in England where Universities were only too keen to accept them. The strange thing is, that despite the fact that he came from an "Anti Religious" family, Yair was willing to suspend his suspicions of Hareidim when he found himself in Chutz LaOretz. I met him when he arrived in Manchester and we became very friendly indeed. The relationship was based on acceptance of who each other was and a willingness to disregard each other's beliefs. He could still go home on holidays and join his parents on Anti "Shmirat Shabbat" demonstrations, which they went on because they objected to what they saw as religious coercion. I was still allowed to think and believe all the things a Hareidi Jew believes.

One night he phoned me to say me that he was in serious trouble. He had gone to have tests at a hospital for certain symptoms, which could indicate a very serious disease. He told me that he was convinced that the results would prove positive. As he could not face the prospect of a long and drawn out illness he was contemplating taking steps that no Jew should ever take; ending his own life. I told him to wait till I arrived and I drove to where he was and brought him home. This situation was surprising to both of us. One minute he was a well, twenty-three year old, the next a scared young man. I managed to convince him that I did not believe that the test results were anything to worry about. His symptoms could indeed have indicated a thousand other things, apart from the worst. I suggested he stayed with us the few days he was waiting for the hospital's answer. Finally, I broke the rules upon which our relationship was based. I told him, "Look, you don't believe in Yiddishkeit. Just in case I'm right, why not give HaShem a motive for helping you now? Why not take on board a Mitzva?" I asked him if I gave him one a Tallis Koton would he wear it and he replied "Yes!"

When the Jewish people stood at the edge of the Red Sea with an Egyptian army racing towards them HaShem says to Moshe "Why are you crying out to Me? Speak to the Children of Israel that they should travel forward." Rashi comments, HaShem was saying that this was not the time to pray; at this moment praying was a mistake! The Ohr HaChaim questions the Posuk more poignantly,

"Who else should the Jews cry out to accept HaShem? especially at times of crisis." He explains that the Angel who defended Egypt made a complaint in heaven at this crucial moment. "It is true that my people the Egyptians are unworthy Idolaters but so too are the Jews!"

What was required was an act, which would change that truth. Prayer was the wrong response!

The Alshich Ha Kodesh explains the concept in the Sedra of B'Haloscha in dramatic and uncompromising terms.

"It is the way of people who are foolish and have little understanding to cry out to HaShem when troubles befall them. They say, "HaShem, please save us, because no one can save us except You." Instead of making things better they are making things worse!"

He explains that when we pray for help, HaShem opens up our "Account" book to see if we have made any deposits upon which to draw. If the account is empty, all our prayer has succeeded in doing is emphasising the fact. There are times to ask HaShem to help and times, which require us to help ourselves.

Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt'l remarks on a strange abrogation of normal Jewish behaviour, which occurred as the Jews stood at the Red Sea. Historically Klal Yisroel have been willing to give up their lives to die Al Kiddush HaShem. From Ur Kassdim when that element of our nature was created in us by Avrohom Avinu, till the present day, loyalty to the Rotzon HaShem and his Torah has taken precedence over the Rotzon for life itself. Yet at the Sea, Chazal say that the Jewish people experienced an outbreak of what might best be described as "English Gentlemanliness." Each Shevet turned to the other and said "After you" and received the reply "Oh no, I insist after you!" Eventually Nachshon Ben Aminodov went into the waters and they miracle of the splitting of the Yam occurred. Reb Chaim points out that had the command been to die Al Kiddush HaShem then of course the Jewish people would have advanced into the waves. The command however was to go into the water and make it dry land!

As Far as Nachshon was concerned if HaShem says the water will be dry land then of course the water would be dry land. The rest of Klal Yisroel were not yet at the spiritual level of Nachshon they could only follow his lead.

Reb Chaim illustrates Nachson's perspective with a beautiful story. Imagine a young mother who lives in a village in Russia. The Germans are approaching the village and she sweeps her baby up into her arms and flees. She runs into a forest and eventually comes to the foot of a mountain. She climbs over the Mountain and down the other side. Here she has to cross a long arid plain and eventual after fording a river finds refuge in another Jewish village. If at any point of that journey you were to ask the child "Where are you now?" Whether it was the forest, mountain, plain or river he would reply, "I'm in my mother's arms!" If HaShem said that the sea would become dry land then Nachshon already saw it as dry land. He was "In my mother's arms."

It was that action which created the subsequent "investment" in the account of Klal Yisroel, which they could now draw on and move from Mitzrayim to Mount Sinai.

I went with Yair to the Hospital for the results of his test. When the Doctor called him into his office he looked at me with sad and worried eyes. He seemed to freeze the shook his head and slowly got up and disappeared behind the door. A few minutes later the door opened. The tears in his eyes contrasted beautifully with the smile on his face. The results were negative.

We have kept in touch over the years and he is now a happily married lawyer living in Eretz Yisroel with one lovely little boy. I have the last picture he sent me of him standing beside his wife as she holds her son. If you look at the picture carefully, you'll notice that he is wearing his Tzitzis out, just like his father.